PERFECT

" Hey, Can you give me your friend's number?"

This is the third time this month, I am being asked this question.

"You wish"

is what I want to tell this random acquaintance that I have made. But instead,

"She is on social media" I retort

"What's her name?" He asks

I glare at his face while choosing between slapping him and walking away without replying. I decide on the latter as I only spoke to him twice before. All the guys who asked me for my friends' numbers all are the same to me, desperate strangers.

Throwing away one more acquaintance, I think about it,

Why?

Why do I feel like their thoughts are justified?

Cause, she is in the higher echelon of beauty,

The rules of being in the higher echelon?

PERFECTION IS WHAT IT'S CALLED

A smiling face, noticeable breasts, thin waist, a good round butt and thin long legs.

A day when I and she entered the college,

"You look so good!"

"You look so thin!"

"You look pretty today!"

My friend laughs and brushes these amazingly superficial praises away with her beautiful smile.

"Awe, thanks!"

My brain is is repulsed. Leaving my fractured self-esteem behind, I start looking for answers of why do looks matter so much? Even in the 21st century, the most prevalent compliment a woman can get, even from a woman, is a validation of her effort she put in the morning when she’s thinking,

"Will this yellow shirt, go with this blue?"

That day, I was given a platform to voice my opinions. I wore my father’s linen shirt, cause it being five sizes bigger than mine looks flattering on my body. I was very happy to go and talk about inequality in this big, authoritative shirt. I thought I looked perfect. Until I started noticing people staring at me. Not exactly me but my chest, because they couldn’t make up their mind about my gender. I also got a surprised cackle when I got up from my table in the canteen because the person sitting behind me thought I was a man.

With a new found rage from these encounters, I went and delivered all my thoughts. I thought it was perfect.

As I started walking back with my friend,

"Oh my god! You look so good today!"

I looked up with small anticipation as my friend replied,

"Thanks!"

The source of the voice told me,

"By the way, your speech was nice."

"Thanks"

I overheard the boy talking as we went by,

"It’s so contrasting, she is sweet,but her friend is ... strong."

My friend looked at me and said,

"You were amazing."

I smiled with gratitude.

I told her that I wouldn't be eating and ran back to my room.

I locked the door and went and stood in front of the mirror looking at myself, I looked .....

I don't know how I looked. Because I couldn't see through the water streaming from my eyes. I started speaking, mimicking others

"Your speech was so inspiring, i am so happy to have heard it."

I started opening the buttons of my shirt as I spoke,

"You are so unique"

I almost ripped my shirt open my shirt as the buttons were not coming off,

"You are so brave in what you do!"

As I let my shirt slip down my shoulders, I wiped away the stream from my eyes and looked at her, she was not thin.

I told her,

" You looked so good today!"